My Failed Internship Application
We appreciate your interest in Nintendo and the time you’ve invested in applying for the coffee-getting-assistant position. Our HR department had a blast learning about your unusual background and your “4.0 GPA.” We care enough about you to let you know that we ended up moving forward with another candidate that has a last name that is easier to pronounce.
Take a moment to digest this letter. I probably invested more time here than you copy-pasting your generic resume into our website. I would advise that you review our submission guidelines here. I want to also remind you to double-check to whom you are addressing your cover letter. There is no one in this company name Mario.
However, we’d like to thank you for giving us the opportunity to learn about your skills and accomplishments, no matter how insignificant they were.
We will be advertising more positions in the coming months. We hope you won’t keep us in mind, and we discourage you from applying again.
We wish you average luck with your job search and professional future endeavors.
Director of Human Resources